It’s been a while. In fact it’s been an awfully long while. I was just getting in to my new life of blogging and then ‘bam’, out of no where, life decides to turn 180 degrees and then everything I knew changed in an instant! In a snap of the fingers. In the roll of a dice. You get the idea. Of course you do. Everyone’s been through it! Normally, several times by now…
I could witter on about what has happened and where I have been since I last blogged but to sum up the last 4 weeks of my life using the great, wise words of Leonard…I just had to “hold on”. And ‘hold on’ I have. Jolly well tightly at times and at others, I have just slept and slept and slept from the sheer exhaustion of it all. Thinking and trying to decide how best to get one’s life in order can be a very heavy burden and as you are all acutely aware, I am not the World’s Strongest Man or Wonder Woman (although the costume is quite fetching. That would be Wonder Woman’s and not the World’s Strongest Man).
Now, many events have taken place over the last month and had I been in the blogging mood, these events would have made excellent Bedbeeonline entries. There was the girl’s day out to London where Chammie and I needed to “turn right soon” (we got lost coming out of London with officially the worst SatNav System known to mankind). Another classic would have been the night that Miss Filthiest decided that she would wax my luscious legs for me. Sarah with a pot of hot wax is not a good idea! If she tries to convince you to do it, even if she says ‘no charge’, I abhor you to say No! No! No! and get the hell out of there (like the Z-List Celebrities in the Jungle). She managed to burn me THREE times in the same place and then, as if I hadn’t endured enough torture, she came at me with an epilator which was a terrifying sight! I can still hear the noise of ‘that thing’ in my nightmares. Let’s just say that I would need a lot of convincing to visit Sexy Sarah’s Salon EVER again…and finally, and possibly, most notably was the girlie trip to Welcombe Spa where Cham and I both had freaky dreams about ghosts being in the bedroom watching us. Off we trek (and trek it was, through an entirely stately home) to Breakfast and what do we see? 2 separate paintings hanging on the wall with all 3 ghosts in! Freaked out or what? Arghhhhhhhhhh….
So, in my busy week off I have been thinking about returning to the land of Bedbee (as I know Selena has been pleading with me to get writing again). Several random thoughts have crossed my mind including: why EastEnders has had to drag out Archie Mitchell’s murder for nearly 2 whole months? Why ‘black pudding’ is called ‘black pudding’ when it is not a delicious dessert but dried pig’s blood? Why the end of our nails are white and what does a Cod’s tongue actually look like? So many interesting questions and so few answers! I’m sure I could write one of those ‘the answers to everything you have ever wondered about’ books!
Inspiration has and still is definitely in hiding so it is at this point where I decide to mention some things that I have observed very recently. In the last few days I have noted several things of importance: Spring is definitely on its way. I have seen hundreds of lambs in the last few days (and quite big lambs in fact, which suggests they have been grazing this Earth for a couple of weeks now. How have the Sheep managed to mess up their body clocks so badly? Poor little things, if only they knew what the Farmer God Almighty had in store for them. It poses the question for Lambs, if they knew they were only going to be on the Earth for a few short months would they want to bother being born in the first place?)….now there’s an ethical question!
Also, the nights are drawing out. God, I sound like my Nan but it is…nice. I like the light nights – they just make you feel better about everything and you start to realise the hibernation period known as Winter is well and truly over (unless we get more snow!). Which is really odd because as I have just typed that line, I kid you not, it has started to snow! And they are really massive flakes. Like super-sized ones. Think cookie-sized snow…if only it tasted like Cookies too. That would be yummie-licious (I feel a new word in the Debbie Dictionary coming on). I like that ‘yummie-licious’! I am now feeling very smug with myself. See, all you people who keep telling me I am intelligent…I would like to answer you with ‘yummie-licious’. My newest word! I am going to see how many people I can actually get to use that in the next few days. I can just imagine it: “Debbie you look yummie-licious”; “that salt-beef was yummie-licious” and “that Krispy Kreme Custard Donut was…..No, I can’t say it because it wouldn’t be true! The Custard Krispy Kreme was dirty, disgusting and just plain wrong. Most definitely not yummie-licious”.
So, back to the Snow. As I said, I was typing about Snow and then as if by Magic, the Snow starts pelting it down with a force one can only describe as ‘hammering’. Then I look out of the window, at the pretty snow, to see someone jogging in shorts! In shorts I ask you! It’s snow-ing! That means battening down the hatches and having a duvet day. Except I can’t as I am off to see Lady Jane and her ‘little man’ very, very shortly.
The other thing I would like to get off my chest is why is it that you put off having your car serviced because you know it is going to cost you a small fortune then to finally succumb to the inevitable and hey presto…you guessed it…it costs you a small fortune and some more on top! Service…check…new brake discs…check…new brake fluid check…two new tyres…no thank you! But they are bald? How bald? Nearly 2 millimetres. Right, well I will go and find new hairy tyres from somewhere cheaper than Vauxhall. I don’t think she was too impressed with me at that point! Hell, I might even treat myself and get a set of super snow tyres as there was a man on the TV earlier trying to convince the World that they are SO much better than normal tyres. Pete saw this as well and it got him thinking…yes, great if the person in front of you has super snow tyres too but what if they don’t? Then that means you are still stuck in traffic and slush. It just means you won’t wheel spin quite as much!
For the time being…over and out!
